What inspires people to throw caution to the wind and pursue a romantic relationship without any clear green flag from the object of their desire? Unwavering confidence? A steadfast belief in the law of large numbers?
According to new research published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, we’re compelled in part by a much baser instinct—sexual arousal—and it can lead to “tunnel vision,” causing us to ignore hints of rejection.
To study how sexual desires shape courtship behavior, psychologists from Reichman University in Israel recruited volunteers from a very libidinous (and convenient) population: college students. They told the participants that they’d be watching a short video and then chatting with another member of the study online. In fact, they’d be talking to an experimenter following a script carefully crafted to convey ambiguous messages, neither encouraging or rejecting the possibility of romance.
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The students had their pictures taken as part of the ruse and received pictures of their “chat partners,” who were all attractive (as determined by a previous study). One group watched a risqué video of a couple making out before their chat session, while another group watched a decidedly non-sexual video of two people engaged in conversation.
After they were done chatting, the participants rated their partner’s desirability and how interested in them they were. Those who watched a racy video weren’t only more likely to find their online partner desirable, they were also more likely to think they were interested in them. The only exception was in another portion of the study when the chat partner ended the conversation with a clear signal of rejection: “You seem nice, but I’m looking for something different.”
“Sexual arousal made participants significantly more likely to interpret ambiguous interactions optimistically,” study author Gurit Birnbaum said in a statement. “They saw interest where there was only uncertainty. Part of the reason seems to be that arousal increased the partner’s desirability, further fueling the tendency to see what people wanted to see.”
According to the researchers, this arousal-induced optimism serves a purpose in courtship, spurring people to pursue relationships despite not knowing how their romantic overtures will be received. “It can help us push past the fear of rejection by tilting perception in a more hopeful direction,” Birnbaum said.
Much like the libidos of college students, hope springs eternal. 
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Lead image: Good Studio / Adobe Stock
